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All mums should teach their daughters 5 things in life..............

Updated: Mar 20


1) Confidence

Confidence is a life-long journey of ups and downs for almost everyone

It doesn’t hurt when you have your mum to encouraging you to be proud of who you are throughout your childhood and adolescence (and even adulthood!).

To understand that confidence can always be improved at all stages in your life there is always something to learn about ourselves and others.

2) Love and Compassion

“A mother’s love has no boundaries. She loves me unconditionally, without judgement or thought.” I am so happy to have gained this trait from my life experiences and feel that as a parent it is my mantra from the day I fell pregnant.

After a time in my life when I thought I would never be able to have a baby I fell pregnant and felt immensely blessed and thankful.

3) Perseverance and Determination To persevere, work hard, always bet on myself and never give up on my dreams.”

As a child I always had an inbuilt determination to escape the current situation and find a way to live a better life, all I knew was work hard at school, believe you deserved better, never settle for a life other expected you to live. Coming from an underprivileged area, broken home, council housing, financial restrictions, free school meals, bullying this was something I didn’t want for my future.

I understand now I had inner strength but didn’t recognise this or know how I was going to achieve my dreams.

In a world where the expectation was young girls got pregnant to get council flat and benefits, girls were not seen as mounting to anything more than secretaries at best, finding a man and getting married was an expectation by family and friends as the main goal in life. I was determined to break the mold of past generations and knew this was not for me.

My daughter has always been told she can do anything she wants, to find happiness in her subjects at school, develop friendships invite them to play, birthday parties with friends, special days out.

As for gifts it is not the cost of the gift that is important but the thought that someone has given you something you love. That materialism is fake having the latest brand does not make you a better person, nor the biggest house or expensive car, or job title.

If you want something special then work hard and save for it – yes you can have that nice dress, pair of shoes, jeans, day out, meal out but understand the value of what things cost and appreciate all you have.

At a young age I could see her passion for creative art and have always encouraged her to follow what she enjoys. Her subjects at school chosen for her interests and happiness, same with college and then university.


Work hard, do the best you can, believe in yourself.

This is something that still needs to be encouraged all through life as we are never perfect nor should we be follow your dreams and be the best person you can be.

4) Self-Love Self-love if the number one thing I believe that we need to instill in all children at a young age and nurture as we grow.

Although this was something, I didn’t start to learn till my early 40’s and it took another decade and a breakdown to appreciate what self-help really means. For me growing up as a teen and feeling the pressure to be or look a certain way and that made me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. Unable to appreciate my body and curves and taking other opinions far too seriously. Trying too hard to please others, to feel accepted and always feeling judged and not good enough.

Life has taught me that you need to really love yourself before you can truly love another. That self-sacrifice is important in bringing up children but not to the extreme that your life is on hold and you become unhappy and feel unfulfilled.

That being in the wrong partnership where you feel unloved, unhappy, unvalued and can see no future leads to anxiety and depression.

To find a way to break free, understand your own needs. Not to feel controlled by others, be yourself.

5) Perseverance and Determination

Shown me how to be fiercely independent, strong and opinionated and to trust my gut in all things. 

Although I couldn’t be prouder to be who I am today it has taken a life's journey to get there. Yes I made mistakes, wrong choices, taken down the wrong road, two steps back and then shot forward. But you know this is normal and we all find our own way. If I can teach my daughter through being open and honest, sharing experiences, supporting choices and decisions, always been there to support no matter what.

Not to be judgmental but to offer support and advice. Be kind and loving and let them realise you will always be there for them. Talk in an open and honest way to encourage and share experiences.

In time may she grow to be strong and independent. Realise you don’t need a partner to be whole.

Being on your own independent helps you to find what you want out of life. When the time is right you will meet the right person who values and loves you for who you are. Not to seek approval in others. Friends change over the years and some stay that is normal. Follow your dreams.



Note: This is written from my personal perspective being a mum to a daughter though this could apply to any parent to any child. Creative Writing & Story Telling Creative writing is a way to force you to use your imagination in ways that make you more aware of, and also question, your surroundings and develop your own voice and storytelling ability. It is a great way to relieve stress, sharpen your mind, and explore new ideas. Creative writing is for everyone. I would love to read your stories, poems, short paragraphs or anything you have written. The ideas you share may help and inspire others. Let’s share the beauty of creativity Copyright © 2020, Creative Journey to Wellness

Posted 11th September 2020 by Debbie Crouch

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1 commentaire


Heather
Heather
05 févr. 2021

This is absolutely beautiful Debbie💕💕💕

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