Written by Debbie's Creative Corner
Reframe your mistakes as lessons learned
An emotional reaction is a normal first response where your body automatically responds with anger, fear, shock, tears or hurt and this is where you need time to think things through.
In supporting others as a rule I have learned to listen more than talk as a way to deal with things in a fair and balanced way.
Through listening and giving yourself time before responding allows me time to gather my own thoughts and maybe speak to someone I feel would support me.
"When I feel like running or fleeing, it’s time to face my fears with courage"
It is quite normal to act on your emotions as a first human response. My experiences have taught me to give myself time and space to reframe how I am thinking. Consider how my actions and words affect others. Those people who truly support you will allow you the space and will understand you. Sadly others are too concerned in their own selfish thoughts and want to compare the situation to something they have experienced and dont see or acknowledge your pain.
I have learned that in being shown a problem, in time I can fix and get better for the future – attack the problem face it head on. One step at a time I do not have to find the solution right then and stop putting pressure on myself to have all the answers.
Feel proud when you learn something new and challenging and move in a new direction.
Once the brain has reacted with emotion and you are then able reframe with love and understanding a more balanced view then this is a good way to help you.
Whether the conversation is with a colleague, friend, or family member, conflicts are a natural and inevitable part of being human.
Many differences are communicated based on personal perceptions, opinions, money, politics, and more conflicts. This can destroy relationships when managed poorly, learning how to manage conflict in a healthy manner can actually lead to stronger relationships.
Firstly, let’s have a look at the two emotions that drive most conflicts: anger and frustration.
Many people try to repress these feelings and this is something I did too. My psychologist explained that this is actually the worst thing to do “suppression leads to less linking from social interaction with partners and to an increase in blood pressure levels. In turn raising pain levels and causing stress”
“You don’t get frustrated because of events, you get frustrated because of your beliefs.”
When you are able to change your thoughts of the event, your emotional responses change.
As a supporter - reframe what you say to help people with difficult subjects to see the real truth, be gentle, talk slowly and share as much as you think the other person can handle at that time.
The way you explain things is important and matters so much in how you react, what you do, and how you feel.
One of the more difficult events facing loss of a loved one
Of course emotional reaction at this time will be all consuming and the pain immense and something that cannot be changed quickly and nor should it be.
Just to mention that reframing in time when its right for you or the person you are supporting. This is something I have learned on my journey through life.
I have learned that you can reframe at the right time, that death should be a celebration of how someone lived their life, a good life, with kindness and honour. To remember them in a positive way the way they would have wanted to be remembered.
The way you explain things is important and matters so much in how you react, what you do, and how you feel.
Courage to be who you are
Build up your courage to helping yourself is powerful and this takes time perseverance and self awareness are key.
I have learnt along the way..........
"Dont wish to be normal wish to be yourself. Find out what your best at and develop it. Wish to be great at whatever you are"
"Stop trying to be what people want you to be, the fear is uncomfortable and restrictive. It took me decades to find my way, believe in myself and follow my true path"
Copyright © 2020, Creative Journey to Wellness
Posted 5th August 2020 by Creative Wellness Journey